Monday, January 5, 2015

Looking back on 2014...

Looking back on 2014 it doesn’t seem realistic how much my life has changed. It was a one of those rare years of healing. Of adventure, passion, and of learning and being stretched.
But now, here I am looking towards 2015 asking, God what next?


And there is silence. Not complete silence…Actually the silence is very loud. It’s not a meaningless silence. It is a silence that breaks my heart, terrifies me, and requires me to ask him for more faith than ever before.

This summer I met a refugee in prison-and he changed my life. I have never met a man so full of Christ. Even in the horrible situation that him and his family were in because of believing in God, he still clung passionately to the hope of the gospel. Months afterwards I still go back to the few conversations we had and am challenged by them. At the moment- this is what God is challenging me with.
 

As I (we) dream of making an impact in some way, seeing lost come to know Christ, inspiring others, loving others and being loved, seeing the fruits of following Christ. But what if following Christ leads me to prison where I spend the rest of my life?

What if my life really has no impact?
 
To allow myself to reach a point where God would be enough- that is faith.
 

As I begin looking into my heart, I have to ask myself God do I value you or your work more?
 

Would I still be as faithful to the Lord if it were only He and I? God are you in your rightful place in MY life? Because it is so fulfulling to work sometimes. So easy to love God enough to desire his will and work, but lack the faith to “be”. 

Will I be faithful in the silence, in the waiting? Will I glorify him in the silence?

“The lord is in his holy temple,
let all the earth be silent before him.”
Habakkuk 2:20

-Amber